A Spiritual Solution

In my last blog I spoke about some of the ways we can tackle our chronic perfectionism. I shared a few therapeutic and alternative approaches to healing perfectionism for the cognitive and emotional plane. I also shared another uncommon option (the one I personally use to heal my own perfectionism) which is;

 Seeking and Nurturing a Spiritual Life.
I went into a bit more detail in my previous blog as to why I think spirituality is an answer for perfectionism (you can read more about that here).

For the short explanation;

Any self respecting dyed in the wool, lifelong perfectionist/control freak like myself to change this aspect and cease our controlling ways, be more accepting, cultivate an inner peace and surrender our will to that of the universe, we need to have a trust and belief in something outside of ourselves. Something which (in those crucial moments of choice between controlling and letting go), makes sense of the seemingly meaningless chaos that life often presents us with.

Or as Bill Wilson, (the co-founder of A.A.) eloquently said;

In order for the recovering alcoholic (insert recovering perfectionist here) to be at peace and to be able to stay sober and serene, we needed to quit playing God!”

This way of living places something else other than our own intellects, desires, fears and mental machinations at the center of our world, replacing them with a more meaningful credo, one which challenges all of our self centered fears.

The notion of seeking and nurturing a spiritual life may be distasteful even abhorrent for many, especially if there’s been any personal negative experiences with God, Religion or the Human agents of Religion. Or could be you’re simply more of a skeptic and a scientific thinker (like me), or maybe you are a committed atheist?  Lucky for us then that we live in a time of abundant choice when it comes to finding a spiritual life outside of those traditional and limiting places. 

Today’s Spirituality no longer requires us having to adopt an outmoded patriarchal God or Religion with which we disagree. Nowadays there are so many research backed, scientifically proven ways to adopt and practice a spiritual mindset which sit very comfortably alongside our logical, scientific and skeptical intellects.

The lists below is not meant to be a definitive or exhaustive list of the various ways to a spiritual growth or practice, it’s simply based on my own lived experience of what I’ve done, what resources I’ve found that took me from that fearful, controlling mindset that was at the heart of my perfectionism to one where I am living more in harmony with life, with a peace of mind and equilibrium that I know would not have been possible without a spiritual center as my compass point for living. 

Approaches. Mindfulness Meditation.(MBSR & MBCT)Buddhism. Twelve Step Recovery. Nature. Philosophy. Prayer

Books. Conversations with God. Neale Donald Walsch Women Food and God. Geneen Roth Codependent no More. Melody Beattie. Sermon on The Mount. Emmet Fox. The Big Book of AA. Wherever you go, there you are. Jon Kabat Zinn Book of Awakening. Mark Nepo How to Meditate. Pema Chodron. The Mindful Way through Depression. Women’s Bodies Women’s Wisdom. Christiane Northrup. Some parts of the Bible.🙂

Communities. Local Mindfulness Meditation Groups. 12 step groups. Kundalini Yoga.

All of these pathways lead (in different ways ) to a truth that liberates us from the anxiety ridden place of control and fear (where chronic perfectionism breeds).

Whichever path way you choose to try, I’m sure you will, like me, be able in time to happily drop the burden of perfectionism and find a peace of mind, acceptance and surrender beyond anything you’ve been able to find with all the Mindset shifts, Life Coaching and Cognitive styles of therapy.

Letting Go Is the Spiritual Practice of Trusting and Co-Creating your Life in Partnership with Life Itself”

Diane O’Reilly

Next time I’ll be sharing the final post in this Perfectionism series, where I’ll be sharing some of my favourite super practical tools that anyone can use to begin this practice of Letting Go and Co-Creating with Life (they even work if you’re a committed skeptic anti-spirituality atheist!).

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