The Pillars of a Whole ADHD Life

I think of myself as a Life Coach first and an ADHD Coach second. Because your ADHD isn’t my client, your Life and your relationship to ADHD is!

For me to do my job well, to be the best Coach for your Real ADHD Life, we need to look beyond the ADHD and the issues at the surface, not ignoring those issues but including them in a broader, more holistic approach, so that you’ll experience the lasting and far reaching changes you deserve.

Coaching a person with ADHD can be like treating someone with a serious injury.  Not only do they have ADHD and all the possibilities for chaos and crisis that this diagnosis brings, but added to this are the complications of the Secondary Symptoms of ADHD (see this blog for more info).

Much Like a Triage Nurse, a good Coach firstly needs to discover which aspects of your life are in immediate crisis and help stabilize them so they can then do the deeper work needed for the longer lasting results.  Much the same way the Triage nurse has a checklist for the critical aspects of a body needing immediate attention (airways, breathing & circulation). I have my own version that encompasses all the aspects of a Life.

The 6 Aspects of an ADHD life

Within these 6 aspects are many of the most meaningful and challenging parts of a person’s life. I use them not only to help identify challenges but also to set goals and create future possibilities. Using these aspects firstly as a kind of Triage checklist, together we can identify, measure, stabilize, support then plan and clarify the goals for all of them. Making it possible to do the deeper Life Coaching work needed for maximum benefit. 

The Six Aspects of a Whole ADHD Life are; 

Meaning.

Connection.

Mind Body.

ADHD ecology.

Psychological & Practical.

Some Typical challenge in these areas are;

Disorganized spaces, money issues, unpaid bills, spiraling debt, career problems, sleep issues, low energy, poor diet, poor boundaries, relationship problems, self esteem/self confidence issues, lack of routine, time management issues, tons of creative ideas but no follow through, friendship problems, poor self awareness, identity issues, depression, anxiety, spiritual bankruptcy, lack of joy and playfulness, lack of meaningful connection and meaningful pursuits, lack of clarity around goals, lack of planning from the micro such as laundry and meal plans to the macro such as vacations, adventures, sabbaticals or home or career moves.

In the years since I began Life Coaching, I’ve noticed a trend towards more ‘Niche coaching’ for specific areas of expertise such as productivity, time management, motivation and procrastination. Though these are all necessary and worthy topics for people with ADHD, unless you’re also attending to the underlying issues as listed above, then you’ll find that any strategies you put in place for the issues of productivity and time management will be cosmetic in nature and eventually expire and fail.  Any coaching that doesn’t also attend to these issues would be like filling a bucket with fresh clean water without first plugging the numerous leaks. No doubt, you’ll get plenty of new fresh ideas and information.

But if you haven’t taken care of the leaks, then most of what you’ve gained will eventually be lost!

I have to admit to feeling a bit like a party pooper when I say all of  this, because I get it, I have ADHD too after all! So I know that when we’re in pain, we just want the Bloody Tylenol, like, right now! Maybe we can also grab a pair of crutches (if we are feeling patient that day), but any deeper or long term work, that can be a real deal breaker for us.

I should also say that I didn’t always see things this way or Coach this way myself.  As a young coach full of hope, expectations and armed with all my new Coaching skills, I plowed into creating 12 week Coaching programs and 5 week courses (that often focused on the hot topics of organization, productivity, procrastination and motivation).  Don’t get me wrong, I do believe many of these programs are valuable and they certainly meet a need! 

But experience has shown me that if you’re an adult with ADHD and have the complex variety of challenges most adults with ADHD have as in this blog, then these programs or courses shouldn’t be stand alone but supplemental, either to 1-1 coaching or other forms of therapy or 12 step recovery that will squarely address the underlying issues. 

I tell you all of this, because I want you to have the life you deserve! When you are well informed and know what’s needed for your long term benefit you can be your own best advocate.

Then, next time you find yourself in front of that Triage nurse, who tells you to take two Tylenol, gives you a pair of crutches and sends you home, you’ll know to ask these important questions to ensure your best chance of a full recovery;

What’s the follow up treatment plan? 

When’s the surgery or physio? 

And most importantly, what can I do differently at home so these issues don’t keep happening?

Get to those underlying issues and many of the surface issues will cease to be a problem or only need minor tweaking to begin to yield great results.